The Joy of Ordinary

I have been stuck at home, like the rest of the world, since the lock down in March. When i mean home, i mean back in my hometown, with my family - the place where i was born, brought up, went to school, made first friends. We have been staying at our current home since 2005. But i have been out, studying and then working. It has taken a pandemic for me to be able to spend more than 3 consecutive months at my home. 

Work has demanded more time than before, even if you account for the time saved in not travelling to office. And the raging pandemic has put hard constraints on the things one can do - the compound wall of the house has become the boundaries within which we have to keep ourselves entertained.  

The little time i have managed to find for myself outside of work, i have spent in doing very ordinary things - walking in my aangan (yes, our house has one!) , appreciating the colours of the flowers that bloom in our small garden, sitting on my terrace gazing at the evening sky change colours, reading while it rains outside, watching a TV series like Panchayat or some Marathi movie with my family, visiting my grandmother, making an evening drive with family to the outskirts of the town, or writing. 

Evening colors in full glory

Big realization - seeing the sky change colours is perhaps the most underrated of all human activities. Everyday, the most dramatic play of colours is made available to everyone on the planet, poor and rich alike, especially in the evening. This play has an awesome effect on any human willing to witness it distraction free. I have also written more than i have in the last 3 years perhaps. The writing has mostly been about the books i read, and the amount of analysis needed to write about a book has made me a better reader, i think.  I am a big fan of small, daily rituals. And staying at home i have created some of my own, like an evening coffee or after dinner stroll.

Lights and Shadows

All of these are peculiarly ordinary activities. Things which most people would take for granted, and for no fault of theirs. If these come pre-sewn into the garment of your lifestyle, it is difficult to even notice them. But because i was used to a very different lifestyle in Bangalore, where even the evening sky was a luxury, these were captivating and readily noticeable for me.   

The pandemic has enabled me to stay at home and discover these small activities, but there is another way in which it has been helpful. I have been able to do these things in an unhurried fashion, as there was not much to do, there never was another place to go. In a way, the constraints put on us by the pandemic have freed ourselves from that perpetual ailment called fear of missing out. You knew there was not much to do in the evening apart from taking a drive listening to good music, which freed you from worrying constantly about the innumerable other things you could be doing at that moment. This context has enabled me to appreciate better the joy in these ordinary things.

Evening is the most beautiful time

And hence, even though i love travelling and visiting places, working out in a gym, going out with friends or going for late night movie shows, i havent missed these things terribly in the lock down. A part of that must be because i am usually a very content person. almost to a fault. So i havent really found a lot to complain in the lockdown. But i have also discovered these small ordinary pleasures which have kept me fully occupied - and that i think is truly a blessing. But i wonder how much of this will stick when life moves back to normal? 

Chasing your usual to-do lists is exhausting, so is just trying to keep up with relentless pace of life at business as usual, at least for me. And while travelling is rewarding, it could also very easily become a to-do list of chasing destinations to check them off your lists. I am sure we all have at some point found ourselves stuck at parties when we would rather be at home reading quietly. Perhaps that's why even though many folks i know are waiting for things to move back to normal so that they can resume the life they left in March, i am skeptical. There surely are fruitful things we have left behind in the lockdown, but i would personally like to make more time for ordinary joys than pursuing the same routine.

The Japanese believe that you can discover the entire world in ordinary, flawed, beautiful objects if you look long enough. William Blake writes 'To see an entire world in a grain of sand, and a heaven in a wildflower'. These i believe are not purely poetic or spiritual obsessions, but we can truly find all the joy and peace you need in ordinary pursuits. And more often than not, the alternates are shiny but hollow. It is objectively better for us to choose staying at home or taking a walk over travelling to the other side of the city in traffic, waiting in queue to get a table in a noisy bar and then shouting to be heard. The city would benefit too if more people choose the former. Businesses would suffer though, and naturally it is in their interests to make you believe spending money equals to a good weekend. It is in their interest to create the famed fear of missing out. Only if we could fight it!

As a reflection on this pandemic, I propose we let go of some travel plans, parties, get togethers, or shopping trips for ordinary pleasures of watching the daylight change color, reading a book in some quiet cafe, talking with our neighbors, or just lazing around and listening to good music. A good start to this would be to reshape the recipe of what we call a good, content and fulfilling life. I propose making time for ordinary joys is an important ingredient, of which maybe we havent been adding enough quantity.